Trams, shopping and old dears

Ok, so I ended up going for a few beers at 'Hooters' last night (if you're not sure what that is then feel free to look it up! I was actually so distracted that I left my credit card behind the bar and had to go pick it up this morning! I left Hooters and when I left I noticed a shop called the 'International Spy Shop' so I went in and had a look around. I honestly thought it was going to sell walkie talkies and stuff but they actually had the most bizarre spying devices you've ever seen, proper James Bond style....they had a cctv cameras disguised as a crucifx that hangs on your wall!!! The best thing was they actually sold pepper spray and and guns and knives! Oh by the way, I saw yet more upper class Tramps last night...this one had a full on stereo blaring out! How many tramps in London have stereos!?? If I ever become a tramp I'd like to to live in San Francisco please.

I moved on to another bar called the 'Red Jack Saloon' which is about 5 blocks from my hotel and when I got there it was a smallish pub with a few people sitting at the bar drinking. I asked for a beer and the barman asked me for ID (as they do a lot over here) so I gave him my driving licence......unfortunately he needed "something like a passport' to be able to serve me a beer! How does this work?? I got on a flight from Memphis to San Francisco via Salt Lake City and all I had to show them was my driving licence to get on the plane but I need a passport to buy a beer??? I'm a bit confused. I decided that I out of pure principal I would walk all the way back to my hotel and get my passport just to prove a point. When I got back to the bar I told the barman that "If I lose this passport now, I'm staying at yours for the next two weeks until the British Embassy get me a new one".... he did laugh be fair. So I got my bottle of Bud Lite and ended up talking to the bloke next to me at the bar, Tim, as he later introduced himself.  Now Tim lives across the road to Red Jack's and he was wearing a baseball cap and trainers and pretty casual clothing (as I've noticed is pretty standard over here for any male under the age of 30), personally I think anyone over the age of 19 should be banned from wearing baseball caps as it;s just silly on grown men. I have started to feel a little bit overdressed I have to say (even in some of the trendier bars I have seen men wearing baseball caps!)...anyway,  I digress. So, Tim starts telling me where all the girls and boys hang out and then suggested we go and have a beer in the lively part of town called Polk Street as there are loads of "ladies there" (he actually used a different word for ladies but I can't say cos my mum is reading this but it rhymes with 'witches'... I think you get my drift. So my new mate Tim and I jumped in a cab and went to Polk street so he could hunt for 'witches' (which is only a 5 minute cab journey from my hotel).... we had a few beers in a lively bar and got chatting to a few people but as I went to order my second drink, the lights came on and it was kicking out time (at 1.30am!!). They actually told me they had stopped serving beer but I could have a shot instead! How does that work???? Surely serving beer is better than serving people shots of tequila and whiskey! They then told me that actually they had made a mistake and couldn't sell any more alcohol at all as it was 1.30am.....

Now this is what I don't understand.......Bars and clubs are only open until 1.30am in California so basicaly after this time you are going home as there is nowhere else to go but you can buy pepper spray and guns right up until 22.30!!! And they wonder about the crime rate in America! Well I'll tell you why there is crime...because you tell people at 1.30am that they can't have another drink when they are just getting into their night! That's why! Caoupled with the fact that young Tim may very well be carrying pepper spray that he bought just before he rocked up at Red Jack's Saloon Bar!!

So, I had actually lost Tim by this point so I went back to my hotel and crashed out and then realised I had left my credit card in Hooters which was now closed (I did get it back this morning though, don't you worry mum).

Today (Saturday) is my last in San Francisco and I'm off tomorrow on my road trip down the coast so I thought I'd better test out the cable cars (Trams to you and I) before I leave and also do some shopping in Union Square, which is right in the centre of San Francisco. I bought my day pass for the cable car ($13 to use it as much as you like...bargain!) and queued up to get on the cable car at the cable car station which is two blocks from my hotel. Now this was like something you see in a film....people hanging off the side of them and everything and they also take you up those really steep hills into the middle of San Frans shopping district (which is Union Square).  The only way that I could possibly travel on one of these things was by hanging off the side (I refused to sit down and come on, you would have done the same thing!). When I got to Union Square it was so busy and reminded me of New York.....there was a Macy's, Saks fifth Avenue and a tiffany's and every other shop you can think of....it was actually a really great place and I spent most of the day there shopping in Macy's with my 25% off voucher (today only by the way). I ended up leaving Union Square at about 15.30 and jumped back on a cable car back to my hotel.  I let two ladies get on before me and said 'after you darling' to which one of them replied (in a deep Texan Twang) "y'all just keep talking to me in that accent, are you from Australia?" (seriously)....I knew the accent thing would work at some point just like in Love Actually.

"No, sweetheart, I'm from London" (yeah I was playing on it now), Unfortunately for me they were both well into their 60's !!

One of the old girls did other me her recently divorced daughter though but again, unfortuntely "she is back home in Texas". She then informed me that they were here for 4 nights like me and they were on a "bucket trip". A 'bucket trip', as they informed me, is one of the trips on your list before you "kick the bucket".  Anyway, they seemed genuinely excited by my accent and they were like giggling teenagers.....I don't seem to have that effect on women my own age! I can not wait till I'm 60! Surely it will be easy!