Well this sadly is my last blog update as we are both flying home today, although both on separate flights so no emotional farewells in London!
It's been a big adventure being out here for two and a half weeks and most of it on my todd but it was an experience I wont be forgetting anytime soon and i've seen some amazing sights and met some great people who i will be staying in touch with (Beware America and especially Ohio as i will be back very soon!)
Must give Benjamin a special mention for having the balls to come and meet me for five days (especially when he was warned against it by all and sundry as they all thought I'd be too much for him! To be fair to him he put in his fair share of larging it but still some work to be done until he is completely transformed from Essex pretty boy to Essex wrongun but we did only have five days to work on him).......
To sum it all up I can only comment as follows:
Memphis, i love it, Elvis, i love it, Graceland, i love it, being offered fruit with cottage cheese, i love it, singing to Elvis souvenir shop workers, i love it, myron jones in memphis, i love it, memphis taxi drivers, i love it, not being able to fly direct from memphis to san fran direct but having to change flights at salt lake city and run to the next terminal within 30 minutes, i love it, the Golden Gate Bridge, i love it, running along san francisco bay pretending to be a yank and having to stop half way up a large hill, i love it, little yello GoCars, i love it, being sold little yellow GoCars by surfer dude Topher, i love it, Tim with the 'wtches', i love it, taking ridiculous amounts of pictures on three separate media and lookig like a japanese tourist everywhere i go, i love it, hiring out what i thought was a flash convertible motoer only to be told by a rich american cougar woman that it was a "piece of crap", i love it, driving the pacific coast highway, i love it, stopping in the red wood forest and pretending to be the deer hunter, i love it, santa barbara, i love it, WendyL the blues singer, i love it, singing karaoke whenever i can, i love it, talking to myself, i love it, answering myself, i love it, meeting American's completey obsessed with England and my accent, i love it, Heather and Ryan, I love it, Ohio State, I love it, Beverly hills, i love it, driving on the LA freeways, i love it, trying to find the hollywood sign, i love it, filming myself on a video diary, i love it, walking down hollywood boulevard whilst filming myself commentating and bumping into 'the big picture', i love it, The big picture, i love it, helping him sell his CD's in an american accent while he put on a poor London accent, i love it, eating far too much food for one person for no rreason whatsoever, i love it, ordering starters even though they are as big as the main dish, i love it, Vegas, i love it, the bellagio, i love it, losing money and not winning a penny back, i love it, backing black and it being red, i love it, being told off by croupiers cos i don't have a clue what i'm doing, i love it, pretending i'm and actor who's just come from auditions in LA to two unsuspecting cougars (who completely fell for it by the way), i love it, abusing benjamin on a constant basis about him being a pretty boy and looking like darius, i love it, coming home to see everyone, i love it, planning trips to Ohio to watch the Buckeyes, i love it, jet lag, i love it, i love it, i love it all..!
Leaving Las Vegas..............It's been emotional.
Elvis has left the building.
Wednesday, 17 November 2010
grand canyon
Well I haven't said much for the last few days as we have been too busy having fun here in Vegas and not sleeping very much......although Ben loves a power nap in the early evening!
It's our last night tonight and it really does feel like i have been in the US and A forever and ever! Although it has gone quite fast. We went on a 'romantic' helicopter trip to the Grand Canyon this morning (Tuesday morning) and had champagne (very romantic) on landing...! Our pilot (Jason "Hi how are you t'day"...the most chilled out 'All American' pilot you've ever met) was a top bloke and pointed out all the sights on the way to the Canyon and we flew over the Hoover Dam and flew down the Colorado river and he landed just by the side of the river. We stayed there for half an hour and had a picnic that Jason had apparently prepared....... actually, before you all draw conclusions and start picturing scenes from Brokeback Mountain or Robbie and Gary's new music video, we were actually in a group of six people and it wasn't just me, Ben and a pilot having a cosy brunch in the hidden away Canyon's of Arizona! Oh no (sorry American's, i meant 'Hell no') we were with four other people, all from Australia. It ws pretty unreal being in the Grand Canyon and i must have taken 5000 photos and i will put some on here later. on the way back old Jase flew us down the strip and past all the hotels and the stratosphere tower which was quality.
Been dossing around by the pool all afteroon after we'd very kindly helped carry (been roped into) Claire and Sam's 5 suitcases (two young ladies we had met from...wait for it....Essex, basildon in fact) and they flew home earlier....(Claire is actually the niece of one of the women who attacked Ben on our second night!)
Anyway, Ben is having his daily power nap and we are going out for our last night here shortly so I will add some pics on of today
It's our last night tonight and it really does feel like i have been in the US and A forever and ever! Although it has gone quite fast. We went on a 'romantic' helicopter trip to the Grand Canyon this morning (Tuesday morning) and had champagne (very romantic) on landing...! Our pilot (Jason "Hi how are you t'day"...the most chilled out 'All American' pilot you've ever met) was a top bloke and pointed out all the sights on the way to the Canyon and we flew over the Hoover Dam and flew down the Colorado river and he landed just by the side of the river. We stayed there for half an hour and had a picnic that Jason had apparently prepared....... actually, before you all draw conclusions and start picturing scenes from Brokeback Mountain or Robbie and Gary's new music video, we were actually in a group of six people and it wasn't just me, Ben and a pilot having a cosy brunch in the hidden away Canyon's of Arizona! Oh no (sorry American's, i meant 'Hell no') we were with four other people, all from Australia. It ws pretty unreal being in the Grand Canyon and i must have taken 5000 photos and i will put some on here later. on the way back old Jase flew us down the strip and past all the hotels and the stratosphere tower which was quality.
Been dossing around by the pool all afteroon after we'd very kindly helped carry (been roped into) Claire and Sam's 5 suitcases (two young ladies we had met from...wait for it....Essex, basildon in fact) and they flew home earlier....(Claire is actually the niece of one of the women who attacked Ben on our second night!)
Anyway, Ben is having his daily power nap and we are going out for our last night here shortly so I will add some pics on of today
Tuesday, 16 November 2010
Monday, 15 November 2010
......A farewell.....
I've seen the future and it looks like Vegas!
It was great knowing you all....if you ever want to see me I will be at The Bellagio on las vegas Boulevard as i have decided to stay here!
This place is amazing.
Goodbye
pk
It was great knowing you all....if you ever want to see me I will be at The Bellagio on las vegas Boulevard as i have decided to stay here!
This place is amazing.
Goodbye
pk
Sunday, 14 November 2010
......
We have only just got in from Saturday night and it's now 07.20 am and we've ordered brekkie.... we are battered and I have pictures of Ben stripping off (ala The Hangover) to some Essex birds we met at 06.30am this morning...he basicaly got his clothes ripped off..... not much else I can say but was a very funny night.....
Saturday, 13 November 2010
Viva Las Vegas
Wow..... pretty much the first word that comes to mind about Vegas. This place is unbelievable (apologies to those of you who've been before but i'm gonna give you a refresher!)
My last night in LA was on Thursday and i met a nice couple from ohio (Heather and Ryan......who are now following my blog by the way) and we ended up doing shots at a bar on Sunset Boulevard......this bar had a Rodeo Bull and the three of us decided (after a few shots) that it was a good idea to have a go (I fell off after all of ten seconds).... So Heather and Ryan are from Ohio and they are now on my US friends list and I'm going to Ohio next year to watch the Buckeye's Football team with 'em! The State college team who have a stadium that seats 110,000 and they regularly fill it up (and this is a college team!!) I had a few beers more than I was gonna have as it was my last night and decided to be sensible and went to bed at 1am as had to leave for Vegas early cos I was meeting Benjamin at Vegas airport at 14.30... Anyway, hello Heather and Ryan and see you in vegas later (yep, they are coming Vegas tonight)
The drive from LA to Vegas was one of the best things I've done on this trip (sounds sad but if you've never driven that road through the Nevada desert it's gotta be done)...It was bright sunshine all the way and i had the roof down, quality! My timing was perfect and i got to Vegas airport and dropped the car off and as i walked in the arrivals terminal Ben was walking out...... Benjy boy landed safe and well and we jumped in a cab straight to the Bellagio..... Well this place is something else, it's like another planet seriously....it's la la land. Our hotel room is on the 25th floor ad has remote control curtains! The room is bigger than my flat and the maid turned the beds down for us last night!!!???? Brenda (that's the maid by the way) also left two chocolates on the side for us! I think she thinks we are a couple! Not good. I also think old Brenda wants a tip.....suprise suprise
Once we'd checked in to what i can only describe as the largest and most over the top hotel I've ever stayed in in my entire life we had to negotiate our way to our room. Now to get to your room you have to walk through the casino and past about 7 different bars and retauarants (this hotel is huge but apparently not the biggest on the strip) and the floor size must be half the size of Lakeside at least *for those of you not familiar with Lakeside or if you're from the wrong side of the Thames....it is Essex premier shopping venue!). I've never seen so many fruit machines/roulette tables/poker/blackjack tables in all my life....flashing lights everywhere etc etc...this hotel also has about 36 floors and about 20 lifts (sorry Heather and Ryan, elevators to you). The bellagio is bang in the centre of the strip and opposite the paris hotel which has a replica Eiffel Tower outside it!
Ben and i are a bit mesmerised by this place at the moment as we've never been here before....we went out and had a few beers anyway and ended up in a nightclub at the Aria hotel..... i've already lost my first nights gambling money (actually i lost it in an hour) and decided to call it quits....I'm not a big gambler and I know when my luck is out so i walked away....this place isn't cheap though and i think that maybe it's just this Bellagio hotel....it's a bit posh and very plush. it's 10am here and we're going out to explore, I keep saying it but this place is unreal.......cool, ben has just remotely opened the curtains! brilliant!!
Anyway, bear with me on this blog as I will update when i can but having too much fun here to hang about!
My last night in LA was on Thursday and i met a nice couple from ohio (Heather and Ryan......who are now following my blog by the way) and we ended up doing shots at a bar on Sunset Boulevard......this bar had a Rodeo Bull and the three of us decided (after a few shots) that it was a good idea to have a go (I fell off after all of ten seconds).... So Heather and Ryan are from Ohio and they are now on my US friends list and I'm going to Ohio next year to watch the Buckeye's Football team with 'em! The State college team who have a stadium that seats 110,000 and they regularly fill it up (and this is a college team!!) I had a few beers more than I was gonna have as it was my last night and decided to be sensible and went to bed at 1am as had to leave for Vegas early cos I was meeting Benjamin at Vegas airport at 14.30... Anyway, hello Heather and Ryan and see you in vegas later (yep, they are coming Vegas tonight)
The drive from LA to Vegas was one of the best things I've done on this trip (sounds sad but if you've never driven that road through the Nevada desert it's gotta be done)...It was bright sunshine all the way and i had the roof down, quality! My timing was perfect and i got to Vegas airport and dropped the car off and as i walked in the arrivals terminal Ben was walking out...... Benjy boy landed safe and well and we jumped in a cab straight to the Bellagio..... Well this place is something else, it's like another planet seriously....it's la la land. Our hotel room is on the 25th floor ad has remote control curtains! The room is bigger than my flat and the maid turned the beds down for us last night!!!???? Brenda (that's the maid by the way) also left two chocolates on the side for us! I think she thinks we are a couple! Not good. I also think old Brenda wants a tip.....suprise suprise
Once we'd checked in to what i can only describe as the largest and most over the top hotel I've ever stayed in in my entire life we had to negotiate our way to our room. Now to get to your room you have to walk through the casino and past about 7 different bars and retauarants (this hotel is huge but apparently not the biggest on the strip) and the floor size must be half the size of Lakeside at least *for those of you not familiar with Lakeside or if you're from the wrong side of the Thames....it is Essex premier shopping venue!). I've never seen so many fruit machines/roulette tables/poker/blackjack tables in all my life....flashing lights everywhere etc etc...this hotel also has about 36 floors and about 20 lifts (sorry Heather and Ryan, elevators to you). The bellagio is bang in the centre of the strip and opposite the paris hotel which has a replica Eiffel Tower outside it!
Ben and i are a bit mesmerised by this place at the moment as we've never been here before....we went out and had a few beers anyway and ended up in a nightclub at the Aria hotel..... i've already lost my first nights gambling money (actually i lost it in an hour) and decided to call it quits....I'm not a big gambler and I know when my luck is out so i walked away....this place isn't cheap though and i think that maybe it's just this Bellagio hotel....it's a bit posh and very plush. it's 10am here and we're going out to explore, I keep saying it but this place is unreal.......cool, ben has just remotely opened the curtains! brilliant!!
Anyway, bear with me on this blog as I will update when i can but having too much fun here to hang about!
Friday, 12 November 2010
'The Big Picture'
Right, did you know that there is a 'Little Ethiopia' in LA??? Along with a 'Little Thailand' and a 'Little Armenia'! I stumbled across little Epthiopia when i went out for a drive on Wednesday afternoon/evening and i must have driven past about 15 Ethiopian restaurants......Yes, I said 'Ethiopian restaurants'?????!!.. Now that would surely be the place to go for a 'light' lunch wouldn't it! Someone get on the phone to Sir Bob and Bono!
Had a fairly quiet first night here cos i wanted to get up proper early today and go 'sightseeing'...to give you an idea of how much driving i've done today...i picked my car up (from the valet) at 9.40am and have only just got back to the hotel and it's now 18.30...! The first two hours were spent trying to find the closest possible view of the Hollywood sign.....me and sat nav have had a pretty bad falling out today, in fact, we are not talking....well she is cos she doesn't shut up but I'm refusing to answer her....i even switched her off halfway through the afternoon. I told her where i wanted to go and she took me the complete opposite direction......typical woman. It all started so well in San francisco.....we got on, it was almost harmonious but things have turned sour and i don't know why....... me and women eh?? She did accidently take me to Paramount Studios which I was quite pleased with although they wouldn't let me in without a pre-booking and they were all out today so i never got to go on the tour but i guess i can always come back one day..
So i managed (by myself) to find the point where you can get up close to the Hollywood sign and I took some pictures and even got someone to take pictures of me........in exchange for me doing the same.... (you end up doing these things when travelling alone)....so by the time i eventually left The Hills it was almost 1pm and I needed to get to the next place on my list. I turned up at Hollywood boulevard and parked up and i looked, again, like a proper tourist....one big camera, one small camera and a video camera and proceeded to film almost every star on the hollywood boulevard although i couldn't find Elvis' star for love nor money and was getting bored by now.... the walk of fame on Hollywood Boulevard goes on for a good mile and a half on both sides of the street so i wasn't gonna walk the whole thing! I did get up as far as the kodak Theatre where they hold the Oscars though and that is the lively part of hollywood Boulevard. There are some real weirdo's down that road as you'd expect... old hippies holding up banners about how Obama is in cahoots with the devil and how he is linked up with the banks and are planning to take over the world! i know this because i started chatting with one of the old hippies and asked him what he was banging on about......he was pretty convincing but i think deep down he just had the hump cos he has been left in the 60's.
I did manage to meet yet another 'new friend' on Hollywood Boulevard' opposite the Hard Rock cafe... 'The Big Picture' (as he calls himself....and i got him on video camera too) was giving away his album for a small donation...he described himself as part 'rap'/part rock n roll so I gave him four dollars for an album and then i stayed with him for ten minutes and tried to help him sell some more albums.... he ended up calling 'me' crazy??? We had a laugh and had pictures and filmed ourselves messing around on the boulevard.... he was a good bloke actually... told him i'm gonna play his CD en route to Vegas tomorrow. So i left HB and felt the need to stalk some celebrity houses so i out Pamela Anderson's address into my Sat Nav.....(I had to use the Sat Nav for this)... you may be wandering how i know Pammies address....well i asked google and it gave me list of loads of celebrities addresses and it turns out most of ' em live on mulholland drive which is on the way out of LA.....
Stupid stupid idea! By the time i got to mulholland drive (which took an hour on the freeway) it was dark and not much to see anyway so i had a quick look at some huge houses and decided i should just get back to the hotel which took me another half hour!
Anyway, I've rambled on enough now and i'm gonna go out to Sunset Strip tonight for a couple of beers as there is nowhere in beverly hills to just have a beer (according to the hotel doorman, as it is all just restaurants in beverly hills)...
I'm meeting Ben at Vegas airport at 14.30ish tomorrow (around 22.30 UK time) and apparently its gonna take me about 4 hours to drive there from LA but with my new CD from 'The Big Picture' I'm sure it will fly by!
Had a fairly quiet first night here cos i wanted to get up proper early today and go 'sightseeing'...to give you an idea of how much driving i've done today...i picked my car up (from the valet) at 9.40am and have only just got back to the hotel and it's now 18.30...! The first two hours were spent trying to find the closest possible view of the Hollywood sign.....me and sat nav have had a pretty bad falling out today, in fact, we are not talking....well she is cos she doesn't shut up but I'm refusing to answer her....i even switched her off halfway through the afternoon. I told her where i wanted to go and she took me the complete opposite direction......typical woman. It all started so well in San francisco.....we got on, it was almost harmonious but things have turned sour and i don't know why....... me and women eh?? She did accidently take me to Paramount Studios which I was quite pleased with although they wouldn't let me in without a pre-booking and they were all out today so i never got to go on the tour but i guess i can always come back one day..
So i managed (by myself) to find the point where you can get up close to the Hollywood sign and I took some pictures and even got someone to take pictures of me........in exchange for me doing the same.... (you end up doing these things when travelling alone)....so by the time i eventually left The Hills it was almost 1pm and I needed to get to the next place on my list. I turned up at Hollywood boulevard and parked up and i looked, again, like a proper tourist....one big camera, one small camera and a video camera and proceeded to film almost every star on the hollywood boulevard although i couldn't find Elvis' star for love nor money and was getting bored by now.... the walk of fame on Hollywood Boulevard goes on for a good mile and a half on both sides of the street so i wasn't gonna walk the whole thing! I did get up as far as the kodak Theatre where they hold the Oscars though and that is the lively part of hollywood Boulevard. There are some real weirdo's down that road as you'd expect... old hippies holding up banners about how Obama is in cahoots with the devil and how he is linked up with the banks and are planning to take over the world! i know this because i started chatting with one of the old hippies and asked him what he was banging on about......he was pretty convincing but i think deep down he just had the hump cos he has been left in the 60's.
I did manage to meet yet another 'new friend' on Hollywood Boulevard' opposite the Hard Rock cafe... 'The Big Picture' (as he calls himself....and i got him on video camera too) was giving away his album for a small donation...he described himself as part 'rap'/part rock n roll so I gave him four dollars for an album and then i stayed with him for ten minutes and tried to help him sell some more albums.... he ended up calling 'me' crazy??? We had a laugh and had pictures and filmed ourselves messing around on the boulevard.... he was a good bloke actually... told him i'm gonna play his CD en route to Vegas tomorrow. So i left HB and felt the need to stalk some celebrity houses so i out Pamela Anderson's address into my Sat Nav.....(I had to use the Sat Nav for this)... you may be wandering how i know Pammies address....well i asked google and it gave me list of loads of celebrities addresses and it turns out most of ' em live on mulholland drive which is on the way out of LA.....
Stupid stupid idea! By the time i got to mulholland drive (which took an hour on the freeway) it was dark and not much to see anyway so i had a quick look at some huge houses and decided i should just get back to the hotel which took me another half hour!
Anyway, I've rambled on enough now and i'm gonna go out to Sunset Strip tonight for a couple of beers as there is nowhere in beverly hills to just have a beer (according to the hotel doorman, as it is all just restaurants in beverly hills)...
I'm meeting Ben at Vegas airport at 14.30ish tomorrow (around 22.30 UK time) and apparently its gonna take me about 4 hours to drive there from LA but with my new CD from 'The Big Picture' I'm sure it will fly by!
Thursday, 11 November 2010
Wednesday, 10 November 2010
LA
I'm here! I've made it to Hollywood and now there's nothing to stop me! apart from a million wannabes but nevermind..
Well the drive from Santa Barbara to LA was pretty straight forward...until i hit that traffic entering LA.....but I was warned by several people about that! Still, it wasn't that bad and was just slow moving for half hour and actually I secretly buzzing at the fact I was driving into LA on this gigantic Freeway (6 lanes either side of the road) that I have seen in so many films...... I had the coolest Sat Nav instruction I've ever heard....."Turn right on Santa monica Boulevard"!!! Now that beats the hell out of "Turn left on the Southend Arterial Road and continue up Main Road until you see Romford"!..... yep, all these famous places have got into my head and I get excited and impressed very easy by all this stuff...(well I am from Barking after all and i'm now in Hollywood....the only other Hollywoods i've been to was in Romford and they've closed that down! I've gotta say that LA drivers are amongst the angriest anywhere I've seen...... horns for horns sake.... bibbing each other constantly when there is nowhere to go.... it was great! I was just laughing to myself!
I got here early (around midday) but the receptionist let me check in early rather than wait till 3pm... top bloke.... i asked him where i should park my car and he offered me valet parking for an extra $5 dollars! I've always wanted to chuck my keys at a doorman and tell him to park my car for me and here was my chance....... i was all ready to literally toss my keys at him and say park that up for me but again my Britishness took over and i sheepishly asked him very politely if he 'would at all mind if I asked him to park my car for me........ old chap'
Anyway, that made my day (yeah yeah i am very easily pleased) and i've been for a walk down to rodeo drive which is a 15 minute walk and walked into a shoe shop and walked out very quickly once I realised the shoes i had my eye on were $1,200...! The camp bloke following me around could tell i wasn't gonna buy anything and said in a semi polite/sarcastic tone "have a good day sir" before i'd even left the shop! I'm going back tomorrow loaded up with bags to do the whole 'you work on commission right?' ....
Well the drive from Santa Barbara to LA was pretty straight forward...until i hit that traffic entering LA.....but I was warned by several people about that! Still, it wasn't that bad and was just slow moving for half hour and actually I secretly buzzing at the fact I was driving into LA on this gigantic Freeway (6 lanes either side of the road) that I have seen in so many films...... I had the coolest Sat Nav instruction I've ever heard....."Turn right on Santa monica Boulevard"!!! Now that beats the hell out of "Turn left on the Southend Arterial Road and continue up Main Road until you see Romford"!..... yep, all these famous places have got into my head and I get excited and impressed very easy by all this stuff...(well I am from Barking after all and i'm now in Hollywood....the only other Hollywoods i've been to was in Romford and they've closed that down! I've gotta say that LA drivers are amongst the angriest anywhere I've seen...... horns for horns sake.... bibbing each other constantly when there is nowhere to go.... it was great! I was just laughing to myself!
I got here early (around midday) but the receptionist let me check in early rather than wait till 3pm... top bloke.... i asked him where i should park my car and he offered me valet parking for an extra $5 dollars! I've always wanted to chuck my keys at a doorman and tell him to park my car for me and here was my chance....... i was all ready to literally toss my keys at him and say park that up for me but again my Britishness took over and i sheepishly asked him very politely if he 'would at all mind if I asked him to park my car for me........ old chap'
Anyway, that made my day (yeah yeah i am very easily pleased) and i've been for a walk down to rodeo drive which is a 15 minute walk and walked into a shoe shop and walked out very quickly once I realised the shoes i had my eye on were $1,200...! The camp bloke following me around could tell i wasn't gonna buy anything and said in a semi polite/sarcastic tone "have a good day sir" before i'd even left the shop! I'm going back tomorrow loaded up with bags to do the whole 'you work on commission right?' ....
Karaoke Lobster with my man Wendy!
Last night in Santa barbara was a hoot (I really have gone yank on you all now).....Fancied some sea food so went to a bar/restaurant called the 'enterprise fish co. which was conveniently placed opposite another bar across the road which was advertising Karaoke later in the evening..... weird how these things coincidences isn't it?
I sat down at the bar and the bar lady informed me that, again, it was 'happy two hours' (she said happy hour but i've renamed it) so i promptly ordered a pint of coors lite and a Lobster (which came with two side dishes for the grand sum of $29.99.....thought that was good...?) as it was apparently lobster night at the enterprise fish co...(lucky me). It does feel like you're continuously winning things over here....
'hey buddy, it's your lucky day....it's happy week'!
'hey pal, it's buy 10 beers and only pay for 9 night!'
'y'all want some free side dishes with that? only $2.99!!'
yep, it seems like there's an offer on in eery bar and shop all of the time but conveniently it's only on the days when i walk in....I just think they see me coming if I'm honest.
I finished my Lobster off which came with a little bucket and nut crackers to break the shell..! Hard work but was a good Lobster and i wasn't about to let the poor little thing die in vain was i.. I watched the poker championship in vegas on the screen at the bar and watched a baseball wearing, hooded young man from Ohio (or somewhere like that) win $12,000,000!! yes, $12,000,000!!! They even brought him cash out and dumped it on the table in front of him! He even had his own cheering section !
It was getting on for 9pm so i accidently wandered into the bar across the road (yep, the karaoke bar) and bought a beer....Now let me explain how Karaoke is done over here in the states.....
it's a bit different from England where it's usually only people who are smashed out of their faces and can't sing a note get up and make fools of themselves....no no, over here it's more like an audition for the x factor.... the fella sitting next to me on his own (i can hardly talk can i but i'm on holiday!) had the karaoke song book open and he asked me if i'd be singing.... I said yes I might so i asked him what he's singing.....he was about to get up and do a Black Sabbath number. To be honest he was pretty good but the next fella to get up and sing was something else... Now this man can sing and i don't just mean he's good at karaoke but he could actually sing, he was that good! I was up next and i was a bit nervous following him but I did anyway and sang a frankie Sinatra song which went down ok,,,got a few claps etc but as i sat down at the bar afterward my man (the really good singer who i followed) came up to me and struck up a conversation.
Wendy Lovett (yes, Wendy!) came over to me and said he liked my singing and told me how he went to the berkley school of music in the 70"s and used to be in a blues band and is a drummer by trade. Wendy, or WendL to his friends (pronounced Wend-EL) is 58 years old and is a black guy with a 'tache and wears a black leather cap (just like a blues guitarist) and i know i keep saying this but he really was an amazing singer.....if you saw him on x factor he would be famous, in fact, if he'd told me he was a retired famous blues singer i'd have believed him. He told me to call him WendL as I was now his friend and we ended up having a few beers...he said he used to work in music but fell down on his luck and he now lives in santa barbara with his girlfriend and daughter...he took my email address and we are now mates....jusy like me and Mr Jones back in memphis......... I am definitely meeting some characters over here and they all seem to make a bee line for me! Maybe i'm a weirdo.
Anyway I'm off to LA this morning and need to get up and sort myself out and pack my bags... all this moving around after two days, staying in motels and living out of a suitcase makes me feel like I'm on the run!
I sat down at the bar and the bar lady informed me that, again, it was 'happy two hours' (she said happy hour but i've renamed it) so i promptly ordered a pint of coors lite and a Lobster (which came with two side dishes for the grand sum of $29.99.....thought that was good...?) as it was apparently lobster night at the enterprise fish co...(lucky me). It does feel like you're continuously winning things over here....
'hey buddy, it's your lucky day....it's happy week'!
'hey pal, it's buy 10 beers and only pay for 9 night!'
'y'all want some free side dishes with that? only $2.99!!'
yep, it seems like there's an offer on in eery bar and shop all of the time but conveniently it's only on the days when i walk in....I just think they see me coming if I'm honest.
I finished my Lobster off which came with a little bucket and nut crackers to break the shell..! Hard work but was a good Lobster and i wasn't about to let the poor little thing die in vain was i.. I watched the poker championship in vegas on the screen at the bar and watched a baseball wearing, hooded young man from Ohio (or somewhere like that) win $12,000,000!! yes, $12,000,000!!! They even brought him cash out and dumped it on the table in front of him! He even had his own cheering section !
It was getting on for 9pm so i accidently wandered into the bar across the road (yep, the karaoke bar) and bought a beer....Now let me explain how Karaoke is done over here in the states.....
it's a bit different from England where it's usually only people who are smashed out of their faces and can't sing a note get up and make fools of themselves....no no, over here it's more like an audition for the x factor.... the fella sitting next to me on his own (i can hardly talk can i but i'm on holiday!) had the karaoke song book open and he asked me if i'd be singing.... I said yes I might so i asked him what he's singing.....he was about to get up and do a Black Sabbath number. To be honest he was pretty good but the next fella to get up and sing was something else... Now this man can sing and i don't just mean he's good at karaoke but he could actually sing, he was that good! I was up next and i was a bit nervous following him but I did anyway and sang a frankie Sinatra song which went down ok,,,got a few claps etc but as i sat down at the bar afterward my man (the really good singer who i followed) came up to me and struck up a conversation.
Wendy Lovett (yes, Wendy!) came over to me and said he liked my singing and told me how he went to the berkley school of music in the 70"s and used to be in a blues band and is a drummer by trade. Wendy, or WendL to his friends (pronounced Wend-EL) is 58 years old and is a black guy with a 'tache and wears a black leather cap (just like a blues guitarist) and i know i keep saying this but he really was an amazing singer.....if you saw him on x factor he would be famous, in fact, if he'd told me he was a retired famous blues singer i'd have believed him. He told me to call him WendL as I was now his friend and we ended up having a few beers...he said he used to work in music but fell down on his luck and he now lives in santa barbara with his girlfriend and daughter...he took my email address and we are now mates....jusy like me and Mr Jones back in memphis......... I am definitely meeting some characters over here and they all seem to make a bee line for me! Maybe i'm a weirdo.
Anyway I'm off to LA this morning and need to get up and sort myself out and pack my bags... all this moving around after two days, staying in motels and living out of a suitcase makes me feel like I'm on the run!
Santa Barbara, chill out capital of the world
I've finally got off my lazy backside and have been to the mac shop to get my mac fixed and so i have now added some pictures on to the blog......you may need to scroll onto the next page to see all of them as i have added quite a few.....i will add more when i get a minute.
Santa barbara is the most chilled out relaxing place on the face of the planet! it's brilliant here and it's just as you'd expect.....two lane pavements for pedestrians and cycles which go along the road side of the beach and Californian women on roller skates (seriously they all own a pair from what i've seen!).... also, everyone in here is a fitness fanatic....even the fat people are out jogging down the beach! talking about the beach, there have been people playing volleyball all day and have only just stopped..... even the new mothers (and there seem to be a lot of young mums here) are out running with their pushchairs/buggies.....3 wheel buggies and they are all (without exception) running along the beach pavement with them! If there's anywhere I've ever been to that has guilted (is that even a word?) me into doing excercise it is this place! I even ate cereal for breakfast today!.... i promptly borrowed one of the hotel bikes and have been cycling around the town all day and must have cycled about 6 miles in total....it's a proper old fashioned push bike with big handles...i look like an old woman on it but when have i ever cared how i look (see the picture of my yellow GoCar!). But NoCal and SoCal (Californian slang for northern california and southern california) are very different from each other in that down the south coast everything seems more laid back but maybe that's just here.....
I met a new barman friend last night when i popped out to watch the football (Steelers vs Bengals.... the Steelers just nicked it and were lucky in the end!)......my man behind the ramp informed me that i was in luck as it was 'happy hour' (happy two hours actually) and suggested I try the 'house beer'..... 6 or 7 pints later we were in a deep conversation about life and music (and turns out we both like similar music)...as you can tell this was a sports bar and not many women about although the barman's mrs turned up later.
He wanted to know what i was doing travelling alone and he so desperately wanted to be the bartender that you 'can tell your troubles to' that i almost ordered a 'scotch on the rocks' and told the piano player to "play it again sam".....although there was no piano player....or piano! and before anyone comments that he never actually said "play it again sam" in casablanca....I know, but it worked for this sentence ok! The barman did actually say "I'm a bartender, it's my job to listen".....which i thought was pretty cool!!
So I'm excited that i now have my mac back working and i can add on random pictures. I'ts my second and final night in santa barbara tonight and i will be sorry to leave here so soon as i could easily spend a week here chilling out but i'm off to Beverly Hills tomorrow and will be leaving around 10am Cal time
I was going to rent out a jet ski today but they wanted $250 for an hour and i thought that was a bit much be fair....got better things to spend $250 0n than chancing my arm (and legs) in the shark infested pacific!
Oh yeah, i forgot to say, i seem to be everybody's 'Buddy' here in Santa Barbara..... "hey buddy" and " how ya doing buddy" seem to be the norm here....I even witnessed a car get a bit too close to a cyclist earlier and the cyclist (in the angriest tone he could muster) said to the bloke driving the car "hey watch out buddy!" In england that may have ended in a stabbing but this is Santa Barbara and everyone is happy or so it seems so far....
Santa barbara is the most chilled out relaxing place on the face of the planet! it's brilliant here and it's just as you'd expect.....two lane pavements for pedestrians and cycles which go along the road side of the beach and Californian women on roller skates (seriously they all own a pair from what i've seen!).... also, everyone in here is a fitness fanatic....even the fat people are out jogging down the beach! talking about the beach, there have been people playing volleyball all day and have only just stopped..... even the new mothers (and there seem to be a lot of young mums here) are out running with their pushchairs/buggies.....3 wheel buggies and they are all (without exception) running along the beach pavement with them! If there's anywhere I've ever been to that has guilted (is that even a word?) me into doing excercise it is this place! I even ate cereal for breakfast today!.... i promptly borrowed one of the hotel bikes and have been cycling around the town all day and must have cycled about 6 miles in total....it's a proper old fashioned push bike with big handles...i look like an old woman on it but when have i ever cared how i look (see the picture of my yellow GoCar!). But NoCal and SoCal (Californian slang for northern california and southern california) are very different from each other in that down the south coast everything seems more laid back but maybe that's just here.....
I met a new barman friend last night when i popped out to watch the football (Steelers vs Bengals.... the Steelers just nicked it and were lucky in the end!)......my man behind the ramp informed me that i was in luck as it was 'happy hour' (happy two hours actually) and suggested I try the 'house beer'..... 6 or 7 pints later we were in a deep conversation about life and music (and turns out we both like similar music)...as you can tell this was a sports bar and not many women about although the barman's mrs turned up later.
He wanted to know what i was doing travelling alone and he so desperately wanted to be the bartender that you 'can tell your troubles to' that i almost ordered a 'scotch on the rocks' and told the piano player to "play it again sam".....although there was no piano player....or piano! and before anyone comments that he never actually said "play it again sam" in casablanca....I know, but it worked for this sentence ok! The barman did actually say "I'm a bartender, it's my job to listen".....which i thought was pretty cool!!
So I'm excited that i now have my mac back working and i can add on random pictures. I'ts my second and final night in santa barbara tonight and i will be sorry to leave here so soon as i could easily spend a week here chilling out but i'm off to Beverly Hills tomorrow and will be leaving around 10am Cal time
I was going to rent out a jet ski today but they wanted $250 for an hour and i thought that was a bit much be fair....got better things to spend $250 0n than chancing my arm (and legs) in the shark infested pacific!
Oh yeah, i forgot to say, i seem to be everybody's 'Buddy' here in Santa Barbara..... "hey buddy" and " how ya doing buddy" seem to be the norm here....I even witnessed a car get a bit too close to a cyclist earlier and the cyclist (in the angriest tone he could muster) said to the bloke driving the car "hey watch out buddy!" In england that may have ended in a stabbing but this is Santa Barbara and everyone is happy or so it seems so far....
Tuesday, 9 November 2010
The very Long and Winding Road!!
It has taken me 7 hours (yes, seven) to drive from Monterey to Santa Barbara but to be fair I took the coastal road all the way here and stopped quite a few times to take pictures etc.
That road must be the most windy and dangerous road anywhere in the US and A! Some of the roads just fall off the edge of cliffs and you need to pay attention cos a lot of the corners are like hair pins..... Just south of Monterey the road takes you through 'Big Sur', which is a national park full of Redwood trees but it's right on the coast so you have the Pacific on one side of the road and huge forests on the other side. I drove into one of the lodges in the forest and I'm gutted I never stayed there the night rather than Monterey 9Monterey was good but this would have been something different from a holiday inn!)...they had loads of wooden cabins and space to camp with built in the ground barbeque pits! Right next to a proper stream and surrounded by Giant Redwoods....I reckon there's Bears in there!
Anyway, I lost my car radio signal for most of the drive as it was so mountainous but I had the roof down for most of the journey and sang very loudly to myself! (I forgot to take any CD's for the car...idiot!)...whilst on that subject of singing to myself......although I'm actually liking being on my own because I cn do whatever I want when I want to it does have it's flaws...... I am talking to myself a hell of a lot, which isn't a major problem because I always talk to myself in England but I don't usually answer myself! That's what I've started to do here which is worrying........it's worrying cos I'm doing it in public!!!! Im trying to be concious of the fact that I'm doing it but every time I think about it I tell myself (out loud) to stop!! Ben, hurry up and get out here !
I've got to say that although it took so long to get to Santa Barbara, the car I've got is so easy and effortless to drive and feels like I'm driving an armchair....cruise control is the best thing ever invented. Let's be a bit dramatic now........ the views that I saw along that road were unbelivable and amazing....I've taken loads of picture and videos and I recommend anyone to do it. I did manage to get a radio signal when I got closer to Sea level and I managed to tune into KZOZ Radio station (That's K Zee O Zee "Everything that Rocks") and they played pretty much what I expected of a Californian Rock station (brought to you by K Zee O Zee)....The Stones/Led Zeppelin/Cream....basically anything British.....I think all their Radio Stations love British Rock cos noticed this when driving from San Fran to Monterey!
Talking about the best things ever invented, I've got to Santa Barbara just in time for Monday Night Football (American football that is!)....as I said before, it's my new favourite sport and I think I'm addicted to 'America's game' ...it's brilliant! ....and the Raiders are my new favourite team.....coors and bud lite are my new favourite beers, Clam Chowder is my new favourite soup and Blonde Californian birds are my new favourite women!
Oh, I met my first Tramp in Santa Barbara and he was similir to the San Fran variety but he never had a stereo or Ipod....no no, this one had his own suitcase........he came complete with big beard and was a white bloke in his 60's pretty much like all the others I met in San Fran... I do think Santa Barbara though may just be the poshest seaside resort I've ever been to....reminds me of what I imagine Beverly Hills to be like but with a beach!
Anyway, Im now at my hotel and Im going out for a beer to watch the football!
That road must be the most windy and dangerous road anywhere in the US and A! Some of the roads just fall off the edge of cliffs and you need to pay attention cos a lot of the corners are like hair pins..... Just south of Monterey the road takes you through 'Big Sur', which is a national park full of Redwood trees but it's right on the coast so you have the Pacific on one side of the road and huge forests on the other side. I drove into one of the lodges in the forest and I'm gutted I never stayed there the night rather than Monterey 9Monterey was good but this would have been something different from a holiday inn!)...they had loads of wooden cabins and space to camp with built in the ground barbeque pits! Right next to a proper stream and surrounded by Giant Redwoods....I reckon there's Bears in there!
Anyway, I lost my car radio signal for most of the drive as it was so mountainous but I had the roof down for most of the journey and sang very loudly to myself! (I forgot to take any CD's for the car...idiot!)...whilst on that subject of singing to myself......although I'm actually liking being on my own because I cn do whatever I want when I want to it does have it's flaws...... I am talking to myself a hell of a lot, which isn't a major problem because I always talk to myself in England but I don't usually answer myself! That's what I've started to do here which is worrying........it's worrying cos I'm doing it in public!!!! Im trying to be concious of the fact that I'm doing it but every time I think about it I tell myself (out loud) to stop!! Ben, hurry up and get out here !
I've got to say that although it took so long to get to Santa Barbara, the car I've got is so easy and effortless to drive and feels like I'm driving an armchair....cruise control is the best thing ever invented. Let's be a bit dramatic now........ the views that I saw along that road were unbelivable and amazing....I've taken loads of picture and videos and I recommend anyone to do it. I did manage to get a radio signal when I got closer to Sea level and I managed to tune into KZOZ Radio station (That's K Zee O Zee "Everything that Rocks") and they played pretty much what I expected of a Californian Rock station (brought to you by K Zee O Zee)....The Stones/Led Zeppelin/Cream....basically anything British.....I think all their Radio Stations love British Rock cos noticed this when driving from San Fran to Monterey!
Talking about the best things ever invented, I've got to Santa Barbara just in time for Monday Night Football (American football that is!)....as I said before, it's my new favourite sport and I think I'm addicted to 'America's game' ...it's brilliant! ....and the Raiders are my new favourite team.....coors and bud lite are my new favourite beers, Clam Chowder is my new favourite soup and Blonde Californian birds are my new favourite women!
Oh, I met my first Tramp in Santa Barbara and he was similir to the San Fran variety but he never had a stereo or Ipod....no no, this one had his own suitcase........he came complete with big beard and was a white bloke in his 60's pretty much like all the others I met in San Fran... I do think Santa Barbara though may just be the poshest seaside resort I've ever been to....reminds me of what I imagine Beverly Hills to be like but with a beach!
Anyway, Im now at my hotel and Im going out for a beer to watch the football!
Monday, 8 November 2010
Road trip
My last night in San Fran was a bit quiet....couple of beers and bed cos I was picking my car up at 8.30am and wanted to have a clear head. I did, however, almost have a heart attack as I was walking near the bars along the Wharf! Basically, there is a little black fella who sits on the pavement (right next to the road) and he sits there holding a bush (well some branches covered in leaves) in front of him and when you walk past he jumps out on you! Seriously. The street is lined with people laughing at you as he does it....I got done big time and even gave him a dollar for his efforts (yep, he had a tip jar sitting next to him.......he receives money for scaring the life out of you!)....The thing is, I was even warned about him by people who have been to San Fran before and I still got done.
Clocks went back here last night so I am now 8 hours behind UK time and I had to get up at 7am this morning to pick up my motor so I could get on the road and drive down the coast.... After Denny's diner tried to force feed five pints of coffee and four slices of french toast covered in icing sugar and melted sweet butter and syrup down me I jumped in a cab and went to Union Square to 'Alamo'to get my car.
When I arrived it was pouring rain (San Fran and south of San Fran had a stoem last night and it has not stopped raining until now) and I gave my confirmation over to the sales lady.... I'd ordered a convertible months ago as I thought it was always sunny in California (silly me) and the woman behind the counter never had one with "Gas" in it so othered me an SUV ( I think that's a big 4x4?) but I declined as I was gonna get my convertible wind, rain or shine...I may never come back here and I want the chance to drive down the coast with the roof down! ....Whilst on the subject, everyone seems intent on encouraging me to drive through the middle of California on the faster Highway 101 but I keep telling them the reason I'm here is to see the coast (it takes a few hours more to drive the Coastal Highway....Highway 1 as it's called....also known as 'The Cabrillo Highway', The 'PCH...Pacific Coast Highway' and finally 'California 1'.. just to confuse us all....I mean, how many names does the A13 have??)... Even the Sat Nav lady tried for an hour and a half to take me to Highway 101 but I ignored her and in the end she gave up and realised I wanted to go the scenic route (sorry, Rowt, as they say in America??)
So I picked the car up and it is a quality little motor.....silver with a black hood and all you have to do is press a button and the roof comes down by itself (beats the hell out of my 1997 Golf which still has a handle under the seat to adjust it!)... I'm so not used to driving any modern cars that I needed to ask the man to show me how to move the seat forward!
After battling the Sat Nav for an hour or so I finally got to Highway 1 and even though it was pouring with rain I saw some amazing views of the Pacific Ocean (apparently tomorrow the weather will be bright and sunny so I can put the roof down)...it really was a great drive down from San Fran to Monterey and I had the radio up listening to every British Rock band you've ever heard of (they really do have a thing about us over here).. I turned up at yet another 'Holiday Inn' and this one is a proper motel...rooms on the outside of the building and everything....waht I mean is there is a varander outside your front door facing the car park....just like in 'Psycho'...in fact my bathroom rmeinds me of the film....nice room though.
There was not much I could do in Monterey as the weather was so bad so I decided to go out for dinner at 5pm and have a few beers...ended up at a lovely little Italian on the Quayside and I think the accent went down well again as I seemed to have five waitresses running around after me (but maybe they just felt sorry for me as I was on my own? poor me).... I have been down a pub just now watching my new favourite sport 'Football' (American Football to us) but on a genuine note I actually am really getting into it and can see its merits and have started to understand it......my new team is the Oakland Raiders!
So I'm in this bar (The Brittania Arms....and run by an English bloke who supports Villa) and the 'Football' game is on, and I again notice that all the blokes in there are wearing baseball caps....this is starting to bug me a bit now but not half as much as they silly 'half beards' that they have! Seriously, the average American male between the ages of 20 and 35 have the following:
Baseball Cap of their favourite sports team
Sports shirt or Hoody (usually a bright colour)
Really baggy jeans
Shockingly bad Nike Air Trainers (with a huge air bubble)
and last but not least, the stupidest looking facial hair you've ever seen in your life!..... To top all of this they are usually with a proper good looking bird!!! I just don't get it, unless these girs are out with their slightly slow brothers. The facial hair they wear is basically bumfluff ...(picture Abraham Lincoln with a few extra punds and a baseball cap and wearing a hoody and you will see what I see here every night). Put it this way, out of the ten blokes in that bar tonight, at least 8 of them (including the barman) were dressed like I just described and 7 of 'em had half decent looking birds on their arm, some of these girls were stunners!... Another thing that gets me with this lot is that they think they can drink when they can't. They call it "partying hard dude"....in my eyes this is all down to the fact that they are not allowed to buy alcohol until they are at least 21. I would love to take some of these boys on a two day bender in London....they would not know what hit 'em.... I would also dress 'em in some smart clothes! Maybe it's just Californian men, I don't know
Anyway, I've just remembered it's my Mum and Dad's anniversary on Tuesday and no dount they will be celebrating in Morrisons cafe! Dad, take her out for a steak dinner!!
I'm driving to Santa Barbara tomorrow and have another early start (8.30am again) and it's gonna take a good 5 hours to get there so I'm sitgning off now!
One last thing, When I get to Vegas on Friday I am being joined by a Mr Ben Giddings, my mate from work who is being dragged out here by me (actually it was hardly twisting his arm)...so I'm looking forward to talking to someone on my wavelength! Now for those of you who don't know Benjamin, let me fill you in.... he's a top buy and is two years my junior and he lives in Chelmsford...Ben is slightly nervous about joining me out here cos he thinks I'm gonna ruin him (he actually said I'm more hardcore than him and he doesn't think he can hack it but he's bought his ticket now so tough!)...... Ben has hair unlike myself and is what I'd describe as a pretty boy! Yeah, he may be a preety boy...but he's our pretty boy! He will have a skin head before he knows it! Anyway, looking forward to deeing him over here so that we can go nuts in Vegas.
Will fill you all in when I get to Santa Barbara
Clocks went back here last night so I am now 8 hours behind UK time and I had to get up at 7am this morning to pick up my motor so I could get on the road and drive down the coast.... After Denny's diner tried to force feed five pints of coffee and four slices of french toast covered in icing sugar and melted sweet butter and syrup down me I jumped in a cab and went to Union Square to 'Alamo'to get my car.
When I arrived it was pouring rain (San Fran and south of San Fran had a stoem last night and it has not stopped raining until now) and I gave my confirmation over to the sales lady.... I'd ordered a convertible months ago as I thought it was always sunny in California (silly me) and the woman behind the counter never had one with "Gas" in it so othered me an SUV ( I think that's a big 4x4?) but I declined as I was gonna get my convertible wind, rain or shine...I may never come back here and I want the chance to drive down the coast with the roof down! ....Whilst on the subject, everyone seems intent on encouraging me to drive through the middle of California on the faster Highway 101 but I keep telling them the reason I'm here is to see the coast (it takes a few hours more to drive the Coastal Highway....Highway 1 as it's called....also known as 'The Cabrillo Highway', The 'PCH...Pacific Coast Highway' and finally 'California 1'.. just to confuse us all....I mean, how many names does the A13 have??)... Even the Sat Nav lady tried for an hour and a half to take me to Highway 101 but I ignored her and in the end she gave up and realised I wanted to go the scenic route (sorry, Rowt, as they say in America??)
So I picked the car up and it is a quality little motor.....silver with a black hood and all you have to do is press a button and the roof comes down by itself (beats the hell out of my 1997 Golf which still has a handle under the seat to adjust it!)... I'm so not used to driving any modern cars that I needed to ask the man to show me how to move the seat forward!
After battling the Sat Nav for an hour or so I finally got to Highway 1 and even though it was pouring with rain I saw some amazing views of the Pacific Ocean (apparently tomorrow the weather will be bright and sunny so I can put the roof down)...it really was a great drive down from San Fran to Monterey and I had the radio up listening to every British Rock band you've ever heard of (they really do have a thing about us over here).. I turned up at yet another 'Holiday Inn' and this one is a proper motel...rooms on the outside of the building and everything....waht I mean is there is a varander outside your front door facing the car park....just like in 'Psycho'...in fact my bathroom rmeinds me of the film....nice room though.
There was not much I could do in Monterey as the weather was so bad so I decided to go out for dinner at 5pm and have a few beers...ended up at a lovely little Italian on the Quayside and I think the accent went down well again as I seemed to have five waitresses running around after me (but maybe they just felt sorry for me as I was on my own? poor me).... I have been down a pub just now watching my new favourite sport 'Football' (American Football to us) but on a genuine note I actually am really getting into it and can see its merits and have started to understand it......my new team is the Oakland Raiders!
So I'm in this bar (The Brittania Arms....and run by an English bloke who supports Villa) and the 'Football' game is on, and I again notice that all the blokes in there are wearing baseball caps....this is starting to bug me a bit now but not half as much as they silly 'half beards' that they have! Seriously, the average American male between the ages of 20 and 35 have the following:
Baseball Cap of their favourite sports team
Sports shirt or Hoody (usually a bright colour)
Really baggy jeans
Shockingly bad Nike Air Trainers (with a huge air bubble)
and last but not least, the stupidest looking facial hair you've ever seen in your life!..... To top all of this they are usually with a proper good looking bird!!! I just don't get it, unless these girs are out with their slightly slow brothers. The facial hair they wear is basically bumfluff ...(picture Abraham Lincoln with a few extra punds and a baseball cap and wearing a hoody and you will see what I see here every night). Put it this way, out of the ten blokes in that bar tonight, at least 8 of them (including the barman) were dressed like I just described and 7 of 'em had half decent looking birds on their arm, some of these girls were stunners!... Another thing that gets me with this lot is that they think they can drink when they can't. They call it "partying hard dude"....in my eyes this is all down to the fact that they are not allowed to buy alcohol until they are at least 21. I would love to take some of these boys on a two day bender in London....they would not know what hit 'em.... I would also dress 'em in some smart clothes! Maybe it's just Californian men, I don't know
Anyway, I've just remembered it's my Mum and Dad's anniversary on Tuesday and no dount they will be celebrating in Morrisons cafe! Dad, take her out for a steak dinner!!
I'm driving to Santa Barbara tomorrow and have another early start (8.30am again) and it's gonna take a good 5 hours to get there so I'm sitgning off now!
One last thing, When I get to Vegas on Friday I am being joined by a Mr Ben Giddings, my mate from work who is being dragged out here by me (actually it was hardly twisting his arm)...so I'm looking forward to talking to someone on my wavelength! Now for those of you who don't know Benjamin, let me fill you in.... he's a top buy and is two years my junior and he lives in Chelmsford...Ben is slightly nervous about joining me out here cos he thinks I'm gonna ruin him (he actually said I'm more hardcore than him and he doesn't think he can hack it but he's bought his ticket now so tough!)...... Ben has hair unlike myself and is what I'd describe as a pretty boy! Yeah, he may be a preety boy...but he's our pretty boy! He will have a skin head before he knows it! Anyway, looking forward to deeing him over here so that we can go nuts in Vegas.
Will fill you all in when I get to Santa Barbara
Sunday, 7 November 2010
Trams, shopping and old dears
Ok, so I ended up going for a few beers at 'Hooters' last night (if you're not sure what that is then feel free to look it up! I was actually so distracted that I left my credit card behind the bar and had to go pick it up this morning! I left Hooters and when I left I noticed a shop called the 'International Spy Shop' so I went in and had a look around. I honestly thought it was going to sell walkie talkies and stuff but they actually had the most bizarre spying devices you've ever seen, proper James Bond style....they had a cctv cameras disguised as a crucifx that hangs on your wall!!! The best thing was they actually sold pepper spray and and guns and knives! Oh by the way, I saw yet more upper class Tramps last night...this one had a full on stereo blaring out! How many tramps in London have stereos!?? If I ever become a tramp I'd like to to live in San Francisco please.
I moved on to another bar called the 'Red Jack Saloon' which is about 5 blocks from my hotel and when I got there it was a smallish pub with a few people sitting at the bar drinking. I asked for a beer and the barman asked me for ID (as they do a lot over here) so I gave him my driving licence......unfortunately he needed "something like a passport' to be able to serve me a beer! How does this work?? I got on a flight from Memphis to San Francisco via Salt Lake City and all I had to show them was my driving licence to get on the plane but I need a passport to buy a beer??? I'm a bit confused. I decided that I out of pure principal I would walk all the way back to my hotel and get my passport just to prove a point. When I got back to the bar I told the barman that "If I lose this passport now, I'm staying at yours for the next two weeks until the British Embassy get me a new one".... he did laugh be fair. So I got my bottle of Bud Lite and ended up talking to the bloke next to me at the bar, Tim, as he later introduced himself. Now Tim lives across the road to Red Jack's and he was wearing a baseball cap and trainers and pretty casual clothing (as I've noticed is pretty standard over here for any male under the age of 30), personally I think anyone over the age of 19 should be banned from wearing baseball caps as it;s just silly on grown men. I have started to feel a little bit overdressed I have to say (even in some of the trendier bars I have seen men wearing baseball caps!)...anyway, I digress. So, Tim starts telling me where all the girls and boys hang out and then suggested we go and have a beer in the lively part of town called Polk Street as there are loads of "ladies there" (he actually used a different word for ladies but I can't say cos my mum is reading this but it rhymes with 'witches'... I think you get my drift. So my new mate Tim and I jumped in a cab and went to Polk street so he could hunt for 'witches' (which is only a 5 minute cab journey from my hotel).... we had a few beers in a lively bar and got chatting to a few people but as I went to order my second drink, the lights came on and it was kicking out time (at 1.30am!!). They actually told me they had stopped serving beer but I could have a shot instead! How does that work???? Surely serving beer is better than serving people shots of tequila and whiskey! They then told me that actually they had made a mistake and couldn't sell any more alcohol at all as it was 1.30am.....
Now this is what I don't understand.......Bars and clubs are only open until 1.30am in California so basicaly after this time you are going home as there is nowhere else to go but you can buy pepper spray and guns right up until 22.30!!! And they wonder about the crime rate in America! Well I'll tell you why there is crime...because you tell people at 1.30am that they can't have another drink when they are just getting into their night! That's why! Caoupled with the fact that young Tim may very well be carrying pepper spray that he bought just before he rocked up at Red Jack's Saloon Bar!!
So, I had actually lost Tim by this point so I went back to my hotel and crashed out and then realised I had left my credit card in Hooters which was now closed (I did get it back this morning though, don't you worry mum).
Today (Saturday) is my last in San Francisco and I'm off tomorrow on my road trip down the coast so I thought I'd better test out the cable cars (Trams to you and I) before I leave and also do some shopping in Union Square, which is right in the centre of San Francisco. I bought my day pass for the cable car ($13 to use it as much as you like...bargain!) and queued up to get on the cable car at the cable car station which is two blocks from my hotel. Now this was like something you see in a film....people hanging off the side of them and everything and they also take you up those really steep hills into the middle of San Frans shopping district (which is Union Square). The only way that I could possibly travel on one of these things was by hanging off the side (I refused to sit down and come on, you would have done the same thing!). When I got to Union Square it was so busy and reminded me of New York.....there was a Macy's, Saks fifth Avenue and a tiffany's and every other shop you can think of....it was actually a really great place and I spent most of the day there shopping in Macy's with my 25% off voucher (today only by the way). I ended up leaving Union Square at about 15.30 and jumped back on a cable car back to my hotel. I let two ladies get on before me and said 'after you darling' to which one of them replied (in a deep Texan Twang) "y'all just keep talking to me in that accent, are you from Australia?" (seriously)....I knew the accent thing would work at some point just like in Love Actually.
"No, sweetheart, I'm from London" (yeah I was playing on it now), Unfortunately for me they were both well into their 60's !!
One of the old girls did other me her recently divorced daughter though but again, unfortuntely "she is back home in Texas". She then informed me that they were here for 4 nights like me and they were on a "bucket trip". A 'bucket trip', as they informed me, is one of the trips on your list before you "kick the bucket". Anyway, they seemed genuinely excited by my accent and they were like giggling teenagers.....I don't seem to have that effect on women my own age! I can not wait till I'm 60! Surely it will be easy!
I moved on to another bar called the 'Red Jack Saloon' which is about 5 blocks from my hotel and when I got there it was a smallish pub with a few people sitting at the bar drinking. I asked for a beer and the barman asked me for ID (as they do a lot over here) so I gave him my driving licence......unfortunately he needed "something like a passport' to be able to serve me a beer! How does this work?? I got on a flight from Memphis to San Francisco via Salt Lake City and all I had to show them was my driving licence to get on the plane but I need a passport to buy a beer??? I'm a bit confused. I decided that I out of pure principal I would walk all the way back to my hotel and get my passport just to prove a point. When I got back to the bar I told the barman that "If I lose this passport now, I'm staying at yours for the next two weeks until the British Embassy get me a new one".... he did laugh be fair. So I got my bottle of Bud Lite and ended up talking to the bloke next to me at the bar, Tim, as he later introduced himself. Now Tim lives across the road to Red Jack's and he was wearing a baseball cap and trainers and pretty casual clothing (as I've noticed is pretty standard over here for any male under the age of 30), personally I think anyone over the age of 19 should be banned from wearing baseball caps as it;s just silly on grown men. I have started to feel a little bit overdressed I have to say (even in some of the trendier bars I have seen men wearing baseball caps!)...anyway, I digress. So, Tim starts telling me where all the girls and boys hang out and then suggested we go and have a beer in the lively part of town called Polk Street as there are loads of "ladies there" (he actually used a different word for ladies but I can't say cos my mum is reading this but it rhymes with 'witches'... I think you get my drift. So my new mate Tim and I jumped in a cab and went to Polk street so he could hunt for 'witches' (which is only a 5 minute cab journey from my hotel).... we had a few beers in a lively bar and got chatting to a few people but as I went to order my second drink, the lights came on and it was kicking out time (at 1.30am!!). They actually told me they had stopped serving beer but I could have a shot instead! How does that work???? Surely serving beer is better than serving people shots of tequila and whiskey! They then told me that actually they had made a mistake and couldn't sell any more alcohol at all as it was 1.30am.....
Now this is what I don't understand.......Bars and clubs are only open until 1.30am in California so basicaly after this time you are going home as there is nowhere else to go but you can buy pepper spray and guns right up until 22.30!!! And they wonder about the crime rate in America! Well I'll tell you why there is crime...because you tell people at 1.30am that they can't have another drink when they are just getting into their night! That's why! Caoupled with the fact that young Tim may very well be carrying pepper spray that he bought just before he rocked up at Red Jack's Saloon Bar!!
So, I had actually lost Tim by this point so I went back to my hotel and crashed out and then realised I had left my credit card in Hooters which was now closed (I did get it back this morning though, don't you worry mum).
Today (Saturday) is my last in San Francisco and I'm off tomorrow on my road trip down the coast so I thought I'd better test out the cable cars (Trams to you and I) before I leave and also do some shopping in Union Square, which is right in the centre of San Francisco. I bought my day pass for the cable car ($13 to use it as much as you like...bargain!) and queued up to get on the cable car at the cable car station which is two blocks from my hotel. Now this was like something you see in a film....people hanging off the side of them and everything and they also take you up those really steep hills into the middle of San Frans shopping district (which is Union Square). The only way that I could possibly travel on one of these things was by hanging off the side (I refused to sit down and come on, you would have done the same thing!). When I got to Union Square it was so busy and reminded me of New York.....there was a Macy's, Saks fifth Avenue and a tiffany's and every other shop you can think of....it was actually a really great place and I spent most of the day there shopping in Macy's with my 25% off voucher (today only by the way). I ended up leaving Union Square at about 15.30 and jumped back on a cable car back to my hotel. I let two ladies get on before me and said 'after you darling' to which one of them replied (in a deep Texan Twang) "y'all just keep talking to me in that accent, are you from Australia?" (seriously)....I knew the accent thing would work at some point just like in Love Actually.
"No, sweetheart, I'm from London" (yeah I was playing on it now), Unfortunately for me they were both well into their 60's !!
One of the old girls did other me her recently divorced daughter though but again, unfortuntely "she is back home in Texas". She then informed me that they were here for 4 nights like me and they were on a "bucket trip". A 'bucket trip', as they informed me, is one of the trips on your list before you "kick the bucket". Anyway, they seemed genuinely excited by my accent and they were like giggling teenagers.....I don't seem to have that effect on women my own age! I can not wait till I'm 60! Surely it will be easy!
Saturday, 6 November 2010
Tips, tips and more tips
Been a busy day today again and was up early this morning but last night I went to China Town...... wasn't as I'd expected but glad I went....even though I was basicallty shamed into giving a bigger tip at the restaurant I went to! I left roughly a 12.5% tip and the cheeky ' bar stewards' gave me the money back and asked for 15%!! (apparently in san francisco that is the done thing!....well that told me!)...they were very polite about it be fair but was a culture shock. They never even had prawn crackers! Or chicken curry!! I don't think they mean to sound aggresive but the Chinese people in San Francisco do sound like they are going to hit you for asking too many questions..
I went to the 'mission district' when I left China town which is basically the other side of town to where I'm staying at Fisherman's Wharf and ended up in a few bars over there and had a chat with a few strange haired people but ended up back at Fisherman's Wharf not long after.
One thing I've noticed about San Francisco os that there are a lot of homeless (proper down and outs like you see in films) and all seem to have big beards and are all around the same age...late 50's, but they seem to be a better class of tramp than what you get in London. Put it this way, when I was walking up to Chinatown last night, I walked past a row of Tramps all laying head to toe down the 'sidewalk' and I noticed one of them was laying on his back under his sleeping bag and he was reading a book and he had headphones in!! That's not a Tramp in my book! I was looking around in case I was outside a Waterstones and this was tomorrows que but it was definitely a Trampsite.
Today I was up pretty early as I had to get some washing (sorry, Laundry) down to reception before 8.30am for them to get it back this evening....3 shirts, 4 t shirts, 7 pairs of pants and socks and it came to $62!!! and then the bloke who delivered it tonight wanted a tip! (he never got 15% )
I actually went out running this morning at 8.15 ....went along the bay and had my ipod on...I looked like a proper Californian, save the 6 pack, tan and blonde hair, but still. I ended up crawling back to the hotel completely runied but it made me feel better about the silly size breakfast that turned up again at Denneys when all I wanted was an omelette! Actually, while I was out 'running' (walking fast-ish), I went past a 'Safeway' supermarket???? weird......we got rid of them years ago in England....anyway I was up so early that it was really foggy outside and you couldn't see the top of the golden gate bridge (which I was very excited about...yeah I know it's sad)
I went to Alcatraz today and it was quality there....got the boat over and suprisingly there were loads of English people on the tour (I know I'm not the only English person in San Francisco but there was loads of 'em)....I did the whole cell block tour and went in some cells and the solitary confinement cell....probably where I belong anyway....was a pretty unreal place and couldn't believe I was actually at Alcatraz...took loads of pictures again and I am now in full tourist mode...I've been carrying two cameras and a video camera with me in the daytime plus sending copious amounts of pictures to people from my blackberry. I like San Francisco but I'm looking forward to picking the car up on Sunday and driving down the coast... actually I've still not been on a Tram yet so I need to do that tomorrow. Surely the only way to travel on one of those is to hang off the side?
Anyway, I'm going out later so will be in touch
I went to the 'mission district' when I left China town which is basically the other side of town to where I'm staying at Fisherman's Wharf and ended up in a few bars over there and had a chat with a few strange haired people but ended up back at Fisherman's Wharf not long after.
One thing I've noticed about San Francisco os that there are a lot of homeless (proper down and outs like you see in films) and all seem to have big beards and are all around the same age...late 50's, but they seem to be a better class of tramp than what you get in London. Put it this way, when I was walking up to Chinatown last night, I walked past a row of Tramps all laying head to toe down the 'sidewalk' and I noticed one of them was laying on his back under his sleeping bag and he was reading a book and he had headphones in!! That's not a Tramp in my book! I was looking around in case I was outside a Waterstones and this was tomorrows que but it was definitely a Trampsite.
Today I was up pretty early as I had to get some washing (sorry, Laundry) down to reception before 8.30am for them to get it back this evening....3 shirts, 4 t shirts, 7 pairs of pants and socks and it came to $62!!! and then the bloke who delivered it tonight wanted a tip! (he never got 15% )
I actually went out running this morning at 8.15 ....went along the bay and had my ipod on...I looked like a proper Californian, save the 6 pack, tan and blonde hair, but still. I ended up crawling back to the hotel completely runied but it made me feel better about the silly size breakfast that turned up again at Denneys when all I wanted was an omelette! Actually, while I was out 'running' (walking fast-ish), I went past a 'Safeway' supermarket???? weird......we got rid of them years ago in England....anyway I was up so early that it was really foggy outside and you couldn't see the top of the golden gate bridge (which I was very excited about...yeah I know it's sad)
I went to Alcatraz today and it was quality there....got the boat over and suprisingly there were loads of English people on the tour (I know I'm not the only English person in San Francisco but there was loads of 'em)....I did the whole cell block tour and went in some cells and the solitary confinement cell....probably where I belong anyway....was a pretty unreal place and couldn't believe I was actually at Alcatraz...took loads of pictures again and I am now in full tourist mode...I've been carrying two cameras and a video camera with me in the daytime plus sending copious amounts of pictures to people from my blackberry. I like San Francisco but I'm looking forward to picking the car up on Sunday and driving down the coast... actually I've still not been on a Tram yet so I need to do that tomorrow. Surely the only way to travel on one of those is to hang off the side?
Anyway, I'm going out later so will be in touch
Friday, 5 November 2010
San Fran sightseeing
...what I forgot to tell you all about my first night in San Francisco is that I'm pretty sure I was tapped up by a bender in the local Irish bar. I was sitting there with a Guiness (which they haven;t got a clue how to pour by the way.....poured it all at once and left a massive head on it.....and at $6 too!!) and I'm minding my own business watching the band in there when this fella comes over and sits at the stool next to me. Anyway, after a couple of minutes he decides that he needs to raise his glass and say hello (by means of a 'cheers')....we got talking and he came across very camp....in fact, the more camp he became the more macho I became (purely to counter his campness)....I needed to put an end to any uncertainty so I asked him where all the Cougar dens were....he then told me hehas only been back in San Fran a week and has been living in London...........he did mention an ex girlfriend, which I think he did just cos he felt uncomfortable. Anyway, he left shortly after which is good! Maybe its the fact Im a skinhead and was dressed smart (nice jeans and a shirt) and sitting by myself!!
So I got up this morning and went down to pier 33 to buy tickets for Alcatraz, Weather was good and sunny and about 70 degrees today!....the only Rock I've ever been to is Canvey and it's just not the same thing (although it has it's similarities.........once you go you never get off, full of dodgy people you don't really want to get involved with....Carl, I hope you're reading this.) I bought my ticket and then on the way back to the hotel I walked past a shop wHich hires out scooters but they also hire out these little yellow buggies (called GoCars.......... very clever) and basically you hire them for a few hours and there is an audio sat nav thing playing (it's a woman's voice) that tells you where to go and it takes you on a tour of the city.....it was pretty cool but I looked like something out of whacky races or King Kong sitting in one of those MarioKart things! I have loads of pictures and when I get my laptop sorted I will try and post them on here foryour entertainment (Im currently using the hotel PC.) The audio thing did get me lost twice but I guess it was a woman so was expected. The bloke in the shop who sorted the buggy out (a top bloke by the name of Topher....strange name) looked the spitting image of Dave Grohl from Foo fighters and he was a proper chilled out surfer dude kind of character and seemed very excited to be '"hooking me up"....so much so that he;s written down his name for me and asked me to go on tripadvisor and put some good comments on there about him and the shop so that his boss will see it! I said I would.
I've taken about a million and one pictures of the Golden Gate bridge and actually walked on it which I'm impressed with... oh yeah, and I also drove past Robin Williams house although the audio thing wouldn't tell me which one it was out of the four.....I thought about knocking on all of them but decided not to. She then took me towards a beach called 'Baker Beach' and I was not going to bother pulling in as I'd already seen 3 beaches....until she dropped in that it was a nudist beach so I quickly turned right into the car park!...... nothing to see unfortunately although there was a Great White shark attack there back in the 50's apparently and there are signs warning you that' people have drowned on this beach swimming and wading' so I decided not to bother.. There were loads of people surfing and stuff......I just don;t get why you;d go into any water known to have Great White Shark attacks??
Another thing puzzling me is why they insist on giving you a pot of maple syrup with anything you order for breakfast??!! How does scrambled eggs and a sausage and toast go with maple syrup??? I don't understand.
The other big thing playing on my mind out here is this:
Why are American Egg shells white and ours are a beige colour?
Anyway, I'm off to Chinatown tonight...on Lee;s recommendation I'm going to the Empress of China as it apparently has great view of the city and decent food........ just so I can continue my 'man vs food' challenge.
So I got up this morning and went down to pier 33 to buy tickets for Alcatraz, Weather was good and sunny and about 70 degrees today!....the only Rock I've ever been to is Canvey and it's just not the same thing (although it has it's similarities.........once you go you never get off, full of dodgy people you don't really want to get involved with....Carl, I hope you're reading this.) I bought my ticket and then on the way back to the hotel I walked past a shop wHich hires out scooters but they also hire out these little yellow buggies (called GoCars.......... very clever) and basically you hire them for a few hours and there is an audio sat nav thing playing (it's a woman's voice) that tells you where to go and it takes you on a tour of the city.....it was pretty cool but I looked like something out of whacky races or King Kong sitting in one of those MarioKart things! I have loads of pictures and when I get my laptop sorted I will try and post them on here foryour entertainment (Im currently using the hotel PC.) The audio thing did get me lost twice but I guess it was a woman so was expected. The bloke in the shop who sorted the buggy out (a top bloke by the name of Topher....strange name) looked the spitting image of Dave Grohl from Foo fighters and he was a proper chilled out surfer dude kind of character and seemed very excited to be '"hooking me up"....so much so that he;s written down his name for me and asked me to go on tripadvisor and put some good comments on there about him and the shop so that his boss will see it! I said I would.
I've taken about a million and one pictures of the Golden Gate bridge and actually walked on it which I'm impressed with... oh yeah, and I also drove past Robin Williams house although the audio thing wouldn't tell me which one it was out of the four.....I thought about knocking on all of them but decided not to. She then took me towards a beach called 'Baker Beach' and I was not going to bother pulling in as I'd already seen 3 beaches....until she dropped in that it was a nudist beach so I quickly turned right into the car park!...... nothing to see unfortunately although there was a Great White shark attack there back in the 50's apparently and there are signs warning you that' people have drowned on this beach swimming and wading' so I decided not to bother.. There were loads of people surfing and stuff......I just don;t get why you;d go into any water known to have Great White Shark attacks??
Another thing puzzling me is why they insist on giving you a pot of maple syrup with anything you order for breakfast??!! How does scrambled eggs and a sausage and toast go with maple syrup??? I don't understand.
The other big thing playing on my mind out here is this:
Why are American Egg shells white and ours are a beige colour?
Anyway, I'm off to Chinatown tonight...on Lee;s recommendation I'm going to the Empress of China as it apparently has great view of the city and decent food........ just so I can continue my 'man vs food' challenge.
Thursday, 4 November 2010
Goodbye Memphis, California here I come...
This is definitely the best honeymoon I've ever been on! I'm just concerned that my next one might involve a nagging bird!
So, I've now left Memphis and I'm in San Francisco, but first, let me fill you in on my last night in Memphis...
There was no way I was gonna leave Memphis without at least one hangover so decided I'd hit Beale Street a bit larger than I had previously......started off in BB Kings Blues bar.......and yep, got landed with a half rack of ribs by some Croatian (??) waiter (who insisted on talking to me for ages cos he recognised my London accent and wanted to tell me the Spurs score in the Champions League, even though I'd already told him I hate them).... I ended up sitting at the bar drinking straight Jack Daniels (Tennesse whiskey....so I had to didn;t I?).......
I felt the need to bless Memphis with some Elvis Karaoke, so I wandered (staggered) down the road to the nearest bar that would let me sing. There was literally me, the barmaid and the Karaoke man in this bar that must hold at least 150 people so I put in my request (Suspicious minds of course).... I ended up doing another couple of songs but by this time there was a grand total of 9 people in there, although I did get a round of applause (probably cos I'd stopped singing)...!
I thought I'd make my exit whilst I was still on top so I walked down to my new local, 'The Flying Saucer' and ordered a coors lite......my new favourite beer (only while I'm over here) and I managed to make friends with two older fella's who were sitting next to me at the bar....it turned out that one of 'em works at the hospital where Elvis; dad was taken when he was ill before Elvis died......he reckons he met Elvis and he spoke to him....I so wanted to believe him that I bought him a beer....he seemed pretty genuine be fair and was about the right age. His mate, Mryon Jones, became my best buddy! By the way, he never looked Welsh (if you get my meaning).... My sensible side got the better of me and I went to bed about 1am as I had to get up and sort my stuff out cos was flying out today to San Fran.
Once I'd had my blueberry pancakes for breakfast, I ordered a cab and went off to Memphis airport....funny thing is, if you;re on an internal flight in the States, they are not half as hot on security as they are when you are flying in from elsewhere....I never even had to show my passport! odd. Anyway, I went through to the terminal and had two hours to kill before my flight so I was struggling with what to do......sent a few random texts, rang my mum, etc etc and then....I saw the Elvis Presley gift shop!! I realised I had come all the way to Memphis and I absolutley needed a pair of Elvis' gold sunglasses (you know the one's). I went into the shop and picked a pair up and bought them off the lady at the counter for $14.99 + tax (they were $25.00 at Graceland! Result!)...I asked her if she could take the tag off them so I could wear 'em and she went and got her mate with the scissors from the other part of the shop.......
Anyway, her mate comes over and say's, she will only take the label off them if I can stand there with my thumbs in my pocket whilst waearing the glasses whilst doing an Elvis impression (I'm absolutely serious!)......well guess what happened.... the conversation went something like this:
Me: "I can do better than that darling, I'm one of the biggest Elvis impersonators in London"
Lady: " No, really?"
Me:...whilst holding her hand (I really am serious here) I put the glasses on, and started singing " Are you lonesome tonight? do you miss me tonight? are you sorry we drifted apart?" I must admit I thought I put in a decent rendition...
Her and her mate went nuts and started asking me to have pictures with 'em!! Trust me, I have evidence!
They were both in at least their late 50's!
I had to get two plabes to San Fran and landed here safely so all is good...spent tonight finding my bearings and I'm literally on Fisherman's wharf so bang in the middle of everything..... I continued my weight loss programme tonight and went straight out for dinner! Be fair I hadn't eaten since breakfast! I thought, 'when in rome' so I went straight to the harbour and ordered Crab and a seafood salad.....I've switched codes! Memphis was all about the pork....San Francisco is all about the seafood (which has got to be slightly healthier hasn't it)
Anyway, I'm going to bed now as I want to try and sort out tickets for Alcatraz tomorrow if I can. By the way, I got my first glimpse of the golden gate bridge tonight....very excited about that.....gonna go and have a proer look tomorrow but San Francisco seems good so far.
So, I've now left Memphis and I'm in San Francisco, but first, let me fill you in on my last night in Memphis...
There was no way I was gonna leave Memphis without at least one hangover so decided I'd hit Beale Street a bit larger than I had previously......started off in BB Kings Blues bar.......and yep, got landed with a half rack of ribs by some Croatian (??) waiter (who insisted on talking to me for ages cos he recognised my London accent and wanted to tell me the Spurs score in the Champions League, even though I'd already told him I hate them).... I ended up sitting at the bar drinking straight Jack Daniels (Tennesse whiskey....so I had to didn;t I?).......
I felt the need to bless Memphis with some Elvis Karaoke, so I wandered (staggered) down the road to the nearest bar that would let me sing. There was literally me, the barmaid and the Karaoke man in this bar that must hold at least 150 people so I put in my request (Suspicious minds of course).... I ended up doing another couple of songs but by this time there was a grand total of 9 people in there, although I did get a round of applause (probably cos I'd stopped singing)...!
I thought I'd make my exit whilst I was still on top so I walked down to my new local, 'The Flying Saucer' and ordered a coors lite......my new favourite beer (only while I'm over here) and I managed to make friends with two older fella's who were sitting next to me at the bar....it turned out that one of 'em works at the hospital where Elvis; dad was taken when he was ill before Elvis died......he reckons he met Elvis and he spoke to him....I so wanted to believe him that I bought him a beer....he seemed pretty genuine be fair and was about the right age. His mate, Mryon Jones, became my best buddy! By the way, he never looked Welsh (if you get my meaning).... My sensible side got the better of me and I went to bed about 1am as I had to get up and sort my stuff out cos was flying out today to San Fran.
Once I'd had my blueberry pancakes for breakfast, I ordered a cab and went off to Memphis airport....funny thing is, if you;re on an internal flight in the States, they are not half as hot on security as they are when you are flying in from elsewhere....I never even had to show my passport! odd. Anyway, I went through to the terminal and had two hours to kill before my flight so I was struggling with what to do......sent a few random texts, rang my mum, etc etc and then....I saw the Elvis Presley gift shop!! I realised I had come all the way to Memphis and I absolutley needed a pair of Elvis' gold sunglasses (you know the one's). I went into the shop and picked a pair up and bought them off the lady at the counter for $14.99 + tax (they were $25.00 at Graceland! Result!)...I asked her if she could take the tag off them so I could wear 'em and she went and got her mate with the scissors from the other part of the shop.......
Anyway, her mate comes over and say's, she will only take the label off them if I can stand there with my thumbs in my pocket whilst waearing the glasses whilst doing an Elvis impression (I'm absolutely serious!)......well guess what happened.... the conversation went something like this:
Me: "I can do better than that darling, I'm one of the biggest Elvis impersonators in London"
Lady: " No, really?"
Me:...whilst holding her hand (I really am serious here) I put the glasses on, and started singing " Are you lonesome tonight? do you miss me tonight? are you sorry we drifted apart?" I must admit I thought I put in a decent rendition...
Her and her mate went nuts and started asking me to have pictures with 'em!! Trust me, I have evidence!
They were both in at least their late 50's!
I had to get two plabes to San Fran and landed here safely so all is good...spent tonight finding my bearings and I'm literally on Fisherman's wharf so bang in the middle of everything..... I continued my weight loss programme tonight and went straight out for dinner! Be fair I hadn't eaten since breakfast! I thought, 'when in rome' so I went straight to the harbour and ordered Crab and a seafood salad.....I've switched codes! Memphis was all about the pork....San Francisco is all about the seafood (which has got to be slightly healthier hasn't it)
Anyway, I'm going to bed now as I want to try and sort out tickets for Alcatraz tomorrow if I can. By the way, I got my first glimpse of the golden gate bridge tonight....very excited about that.....gonna go and have a proer look tomorrow but San Francisco seems good so far.
Tuesday, 2 November 2010
Memphis....well what can I say...
Well this place is something different...not sure where to start! Firstly I got here at 22.30 on Halloween and decided that as I was only here 3 nights I should go out for a few beers so I went for a wander down to Beale Street (which is one of the most famous streets for music and the blues in the whole country). BB King has a bar there and almost every single bar has a live blues or soul band....also, every single bar has a 'kitchen open till late'! You can not get away from food here!
So anyway, I walk out of the hotel and everyone except for me is wearing some kind of Halloween costume and they are all wishing everyone they walk pas "a Happy Halloween y'all"...so immediately I felt underdressed. Next thing I know, I'm walking behind what I thought was a young person dressed as Father Christmas (Sorry, I mean Santa) only to find out that he was about 70 and wearing a real beard, walking along on his own..... I actually think he may have been the real Santa annd maybe he thought it was his one chance of the year to go out for a walk without anyone asking questions or mobbing him...who knows!
So I end up in a bar called 'the flying saucer' which has a big pool table and a huge bar and the place is covered in saucers (plates) with peoples names on them...I never asked why but guess its some theme thing... The only thing I could think of doing was asking for a "bottle of beer please" just like Colin does in Love Actually when he gets mobbed by three birds in the States cos oif his English accent....unfortunatley the barmaid just asked me what beer I wanted as they sold every beer under the sun, so I ended up with a Coors Lite! I moved on to another bar (the blues cafe) ended the night with a half rack of ribs, chips (fries), some 'slaw and beans! I literally asked the barman for a snack and he recommended that! Seriously you can not eat healthy in Memphis if you tried! No wander they are all fat! It;s as if there is a law prohibiting anyone from living over the age of 50! For example.....I went to Sun Studios yesterday and then wanted to get some lunch after so I wandered into this burger bar come pub (that looked like the interior of 'Cheers') and it's known as the best burger in the whole of memphis so felt I had to go there once. I sat down and ordered a cheeseburger but with a side salad (I've got to at least try and eat something healthy!) and even the salad came with this dressing which probably took all the goodness out of the salad! When the burger turned up the onion rings that came with it were bigger than the actual burger (I'm not joking)...it's ridiculous!
Whilst on the subject of yesterday.....whilst on the walk back down Union Avenue from Sun Studio's (it's about 3/4 mile from my hotel) I noticed two black fella's walking toward me and they were talking pretty loudly to each other. I was trying to be typically English and keep myself to myself and out of nowhere one of 'em put's his hand in the air, say's "what's up Bro" and High five's me! Then he just walked on....?? It happened to me again with another fella that afternoon who decided he wanted to be my friend!
Oh yeah, back to food.....
I tried to order a semi healthy breakfast this morning and ordered an omelette and a 'fruit pot' on the side....for which I was given the option of having cottage cheese on top of the fruit!!!!! WTF!!?? I declined (obviously)...when the omelette turned up it had a huge portion of fried potatoes on the side! They are out to get me I know it!
I went to Graceland this morning and had tickets booked for 10.30 so I got a cab and the driver...again, a black chap, who sounded like Barry White and was the same size was talking on his mobile to his mate about how he hadn't had a decent tip all morning......clearly a ploy to make me feel like I had to tip him! He got what he wanted and then insisted I take his number if I wanted a cab back after I left...must have been the $10 dollar tip I gave him by mistake! All the dough looks the same over here!
Graceland was quality and the grounds are huge but the house is not massive...it's big enough but more like a house than a mansion....I took loads of pictures so will try and add them on here at some point....I felt emotional at old Elv's grave (I'll be honest) and I looked like a proper tourist with my headset on listening to the recorded tour....I nearly had a rush of blood to the head and bought a replica jumpsuit but was put off by the $2,100 price tag! Lots of English and Australians there also. After I had wandered through Elvis' airplane 'The Lisa-Marie' and had taken about 500 pictures of Graceland from every angle possible I remembered that Jane had requested I "eat a banana and peanut butter sandwich whilst singing old shep" whilst I was in Memphis so thought what better place to do it than at the Elvis diner opposite Graceland. I walked in and ordered it and sat down at a booth (it was a 1950's style diner as you'd expect) and I made sure no one could hear me and I took a bite and sang the only words I know from that song (I promise you I did it Jane)... please, no more requests!
I left the diner and decided I couldn't be bothered to ring my new cab driver friend, Coco (yes swear that was his name, I am not kidding...he even wrote it on the card he gave me...brilliant!) so I jumped in the first cab at the taxi rank....another black fella but this time I could not understand a word he was saying! He sounded exactly like the barber at the barbershop in Coming to America and he kept going on about all the cars that were getting too close to his in the rain (or at least I think that's what he said!) ...I just agreed with him on everything (reminded me of when I first met Sweaty actually!). Anyway, I'm now back at the hotel and gonna have a few beers tonight as it's my last night in Memphis as off to San Francisco tomorrow afternoon so I will update on you on that soon as I get a chance.
One last thing.......I've found myself using American slang and phrases purely because they can't understand anything else...... been using the phrase 'sidewalk' and 'cool man' quite a bit although I have been doing the very English thing of holding open doors and saying 'please and thankyou' after everything (Mum, I hope you're pleased?)
Anyway, I'll be back with more updates shortly!
So anyway, I walk out of the hotel and everyone except for me is wearing some kind of Halloween costume and they are all wishing everyone they walk pas "a Happy Halloween y'all"...so immediately I felt underdressed. Next thing I know, I'm walking behind what I thought was a young person dressed as Father Christmas (Sorry, I mean Santa) only to find out that he was about 70 and wearing a real beard, walking along on his own..... I actually think he may have been the real Santa annd maybe he thought it was his one chance of the year to go out for a walk without anyone asking questions or mobbing him...who knows!
So I end up in a bar called 'the flying saucer' which has a big pool table and a huge bar and the place is covered in saucers (plates) with peoples names on them...I never asked why but guess its some theme thing... The only thing I could think of doing was asking for a "bottle of beer please" just like Colin does in Love Actually when he gets mobbed by three birds in the States cos oif his English accent....unfortunatley the barmaid just asked me what beer I wanted as they sold every beer under the sun, so I ended up with a Coors Lite! I moved on to another bar (the blues cafe) ended the night with a half rack of ribs, chips (fries), some 'slaw and beans! I literally asked the barman for a snack and he recommended that! Seriously you can not eat healthy in Memphis if you tried! No wander they are all fat! It;s as if there is a law prohibiting anyone from living over the age of 50! For example.....I went to Sun Studios yesterday and then wanted to get some lunch after so I wandered into this burger bar come pub (that looked like the interior of 'Cheers') and it's known as the best burger in the whole of memphis so felt I had to go there once. I sat down and ordered a cheeseburger but with a side salad (I've got to at least try and eat something healthy!) and even the salad came with this dressing which probably took all the goodness out of the salad! When the burger turned up the onion rings that came with it were bigger than the actual burger (I'm not joking)...it's ridiculous!
Whilst on the subject of yesterday.....whilst on the walk back down Union Avenue from Sun Studio's (it's about 3/4 mile from my hotel) I noticed two black fella's walking toward me and they were talking pretty loudly to each other. I was trying to be typically English and keep myself to myself and out of nowhere one of 'em put's his hand in the air, say's "what's up Bro" and High five's me! Then he just walked on....?? It happened to me again with another fella that afternoon who decided he wanted to be my friend!
Oh yeah, back to food.....
I tried to order a semi healthy breakfast this morning and ordered an omelette and a 'fruit pot' on the side....for which I was given the option of having cottage cheese on top of the fruit!!!!! WTF!!?? I declined (obviously)...when the omelette turned up it had a huge portion of fried potatoes on the side! They are out to get me I know it!
I went to Graceland this morning and had tickets booked for 10.30 so I got a cab and the driver...again, a black chap, who sounded like Barry White and was the same size was talking on his mobile to his mate about how he hadn't had a decent tip all morning......clearly a ploy to make me feel like I had to tip him! He got what he wanted and then insisted I take his number if I wanted a cab back after I left...must have been the $10 dollar tip I gave him by mistake! All the dough looks the same over here!
Graceland was quality and the grounds are huge but the house is not massive...it's big enough but more like a house than a mansion....I took loads of pictures so will try and add them on here at some point....I felt emotional at old Elv's grave (I'll be honest) and I looked like a proper tourist with my headset on listening to the recorded tour....I nearly had a rush of blood to the head and bought a replica jumpsuit but was put off by the $2,100 price tag! Lots of English and Australians there also. After I had wandered through Elvis' airplane 'The Lisa-Marie' and had taken about 500 pictures of Graceland from every angle possible I remembered that Jane had requested I "eat a banana and peanut butter sandwich whilst singing old shep" whilst I was in Memphis so thought what better place to do it than at the Elvis diner opposite Graceland. I walked in and ordered it and sat down at a booth (it was a 1950's style diner as you'd expect) and I made sure no one could hear me and I took a bite and sang the only words I know from that song (I promise you I did it Jane)... please, no more requests!
I left the diner and decided I couldn't be bothered to ring my new cab driver friend, Coco (yes swear that was his name, I am not kidding...he even wrote it on the card he gave me...brilliant!) so I jumped in the first cab at the taxi rank....another black fella but this time I could not understand a word he was saying! He sounded exactly like the barber at the barbershop in Coming to America and he kept going on about all the cars that were getting too close to his in the rain (or at least I think that's what he said!) ...I just agreed with him on everything (reminded me of when I first met Sweaty actually!). Anyway, I'm now back at the hotel and gonna have a few beers tonight as it's my last night in Memphis as off to San Francisco tomorrow afternoon so I will update on you on that soon as I get a chance.
One last thing.......I've found myself using American slang and phrases purely because they can't understand anything else...... been using the phrase 'sidewalk' and 'cool man' quite a bit although I have been doing the very English thing of holding open doors and saying 'please and thankyou' after everything (Mum, I hope you're pleased?)
Anyway, I'll be back with more updates shortly!
Sunday, 31 October 2010
Dallas Airport free internet...high five!
So I arrived in Dallas and it took 2 hours + to get through security.....was asked by about ten different security staff why i was going to memphis and they all told me to say hello to Elvis....think they were mugging me off!!
Anyway, I was hungry so just ate the biggest Burrito you'll ever see in your life...was the size of a kebab!... with a bottle of bud ice of course.....
not seen any cougars as yet but i'm looking!
flight to Memphis in two hours time (20.30 US time).... I need another beer to get me through this long day!! May just crack on through the night as it's Haloween and Memphis bound to be busy...!
Anyway, I was hungry so just ate the biggest Burrito you'll ever see in your life...was the size of a kebab!... with a bottle of bud ice of course.....
not seen any cougars as yet but i'm looking!
flight to Memphis in two hours time (20.30 US time).... I need another beer to get me through this long day!! May just crack on through the night as it's Haloween and Memphis bound to be busy...!
Sunday 31st October and I'm at terminal 5...managed to get an upgrade to premium economy although its cost me 150..! so basically travelling like a Z list rather than cattle for 10 hours!
Are Toblerone bars at airports getting bigger?? Why does every airport have ridiculous amounts of Toblerone? I need to know this!
Now got a 10 hour flight to Dallas followed by a 4 hour wait until my flight to Memphis (where the plan is to go to a bar at the airport and talk rubbish to Texan's for a few hours and make stuff up and see if they fall for it)
Thinking of you all on this lovely Sunday we are having!
Are Toblerone bars at airports getting bigger?? Why does every airport have ridiculous amounts of Toblerone? I need to know this!
Now got a 10 hour flight to Dallas followed by a 4 hour wait until my flight to Memphis (where the plan is to go to a bar at the airport and talk rubbish to Texan's for a few hours and make stuff up and see if they fall for it)
Thinking of you all on this lovely Sunday we are having!
Saturday, 30 October 2010
Day 1......and it starts
I've arrived at The Sheraton hotel at Heathrow before I fly off tomorrow and been upgraded to a VIP room! High five, great success! I think they felt sorry for me!
I'm in the VIP lounge at the moment (the mugs) and about to tuck into free food and drink!
I'm gonna try and blag an upgrade on the flight but doubt it will happen! I will let you know! Well I'm gonna see what free stuff I can blag in this VIP lounge!
I'll be back later!
I'm in the VIP lounge at the moment (the mugs) and about to tuck into free food and drink!
I'm gonna try and blag an upgrade on the flight but doubt it will happen! I will let you know! Well I'm gonna see what free stuff I can blag in this VIP lounge!
I'll be back later!
Saturday, 16 October 2010
2 weeks and 1 day tp go and counting!
Hello my disciples!
It's only two weeks until my high five tour of the US and A and I've realised that I need to buy some bits to take with me and time is running out!
So far I've had a request from a Miss J Wrigley from Essex to eat a fried peanut butter and banana sandwich (Elvis' favourite) when i'm in memphis whilsr singing old shep! Bit of a mouthful and it's rude to talk while you're eating but i'm gonna give it a go! I will try and get a picture and post it on here!
It's only two weeks until my high five tour of the US and A and I've realised that I need to buy some bits to take with me and time is running out!
So far I've had a request from a Miss J Wrigley from Essex to eat a fried peanut butter and banana sandwich (Elvis' favourite) when i'm in memphis whilsr singing old shep! Bit of a mouthful and it's rude to talk while you're eating but i'm gonna give it a go! I will try and get a picture and post it on here!
Wednesday, 13 October 2010
Sunday, 10 October 2010
USA
Starting in Memphis on the 31st October for 3 nights and moving onto San Francisco for 4 nights followed by Moneterey, Santa barbara, Beverly Hills and finally Vegas for the final five nights! I will keep you posted!
Blog Design
21 days until I head off on my tour of America - Watch this space for all my goings on, Crazy Guy!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)